Quality & Quantity

**Trish** · February 8th, 2009

I read about Granny of 9 getting a red mark for quality not quantity. She did not choose to have them, her children BLESSED her with them and I am sure everyone of them is a treasure. Children are a quality not to be measured by quantity.

**grannyof9** · February 8th, 2009

Trish, that is very sweet of you! Thank you. You are right, we consider each one a treasure.

Just for the record, I had not realized that I had even gotten a red mark until I took the time to check because of all the hoopla about them. When I saw this and read the post it was for, my feelings were hurt for a little bit. Not so much about the post, but because it once again brought up other hurts. You see, it is not uncommon for people - even strangers - to say negative things about the number of grandchildren I have.

The 9 kids ages are 1,1,2,3,5,6,6,6, and 7. So, when we go places, they are noticeable. We go out together quite often. They are from two daughters. One has only 3 kids. The other has 6 as she was blessed with two sets of twins. My daughter goes out with her 6 kids and gets approached by strangers often. If the kids are being perfect, she might get positive remarks, but some negative. If a baby is crying, she gets interrupted with negative remarks. The only reason she doesn't like to take them with her to the grocery store is the interruptions she gets from strangers, and her time is precious.

Many people believe very strongly that you should only have 2 or fewer kids. Others think of children as a blessing. Obviously, our family thinks of children as blessings. I realize that.

Back to the red marks - if any of you have gotten red marks (negative reputation power points), please try not to let them hurt your feelings. Maybe they were just given out by someone who was having a bad day. Now that everyone can see who gave the good and the bad, I think there will be fewer negatives given out. That is a good thing.

**mygypsy2** · February 8th, 2009

Oh grannyof9 you are truly blessed! Your daughters and grandbabies are your heaven here on earth

Enjoy them as I'm sure you know how quickly they will grow. Nothing warms the heart like hugs and kisses from the little ones

I have 1 grandbaby by my daughter and it took her 7 years to conceive him. I was in the delivery room with her & my son in law for his birth. Connor is Gods gift to us for certain. Life is about family in my book.
Enjoy your grandchildren and give them all the love you have to share

**srobins96** · February 8th, 2009

I, too, feel blessed to have 9 grandchildren.I figure that God must have a reason for blessing some of us with grandchildren and some of us with other things..I wouldn't trade places with anyone right now. I love my precious treasures that were sent to me by God. He has blessed my life with 4 wonderful children and 9 blessed grandchildren How could that be bad..forgive me for rambling, but I Feel you need to know that what other people think about God's graces don't really matter. I believe that they are probably a little jealous or as you said just having a bad day..God Bless you and all of yours.

**flbaker** · February 8th, 2009

Granny09,It's sad how this country can be so negative .... there was a time families were large ...My husband and I came from an average size family which was 6-7 children and in those days there were no negative comments but praise for what each child contributed to the family, no matter how small the that might have been. Sure times have changed and I guess negative comments come from people who feel maybe now these large families are living off of welfare ... in some cases maybe - but to comment with children around ... as they say little ears have big hearing ..... they don't distinguish good from bad comments only that they are being talked about ....
and they carry that through adulthood ....

**quilt-silly** · February 8th, 2009

I know what you mean. I have five children and it has never ceased to amaze me that otherwise normal people think they have the right to comment on the number of children I have.

It's been a long time since we were all out together since all but one are grown and flown, but it still stings to remember some of the things people would say. I started making wisecracks in response to some of them, but then I realized that most of these people didn't think of themselves as being rude so I stopped that.

But it really irritated me to have my children hear comments like, "You know, they know what causes that, now." (Yes - God does!) "You're brave to have so many!" (Not brave, BLESSED!)

I have sometimes blurted things without thinking, so I'd rather think that people are just blundering, like I do, rather than intentionally snarky.

**srobins96** · February 8th, 2009

My folks use to get remarks about having 5 of us..I am so glad they did..what would I do without my siblings..think so you don't hurt..please.

**flbaker** · February 8th, 2009

Siblings can be a blessing or ......

depending on the subject matter we are discussing at the time. It didn't seam like we were so many when together, even as grand kids came and we grew by 10 ... you just had this warm feeling inside when we were all going at each other for this or that .... they were also blessing as we lost parents a shoulder to cry on, who understood ....... Large families can be either a pain or a true blessing, it's how you look at it positively and honestly .... gotta chuckle am I making sense ?

**tricia58** · February 8th, 2009

Granny if it is any consolation I think she used that quality vs quantity comment on many when she gave red mark. I have a feeling you got red mark from same person I did. She said quality vs quantity to me too. In my case though my comment was a thank you for a link in the freebie section. So maybe she needed to think quality vs quantity since it is beginning to seem she was out for quantity on the red marks. Somehow I do not think she meant the number of grandkids you had. Love those kids and cherish them is all I can say.

**srobins96** · February 8th, 2009

I do understand..some day's the siblings can be a pain, but they are mine..good or bad..Thank God

**Imdamama6** · February 8th, 2009

Grannyof9: I too received a red mark with the same wording of quality vs quantity and I also feel that this person seems to have used that wording in many negatives that he/she handed out. I hope that you do not take that person to heart as it seems they needed to take thier own wording into consideration being as they must have been trying to get quantity people negatives and did not consider the quality of a friendship or others feelings.

I feel that you are very blessed with all the children and know that you love them all. To each his own if others do not agree. Just remember that you can not make everyone happy and the only thing that matters is that YOU ARE HAPPY.

**wiharubh** · February 8th, 2009

You bet grandchildren are a blessing! I am the proud Nana of 8! What would I do without them?! One daughter has 4 precious girls, the other daughter has 2 girls and a boy and my son has one girl! I love each and every one with all my heart! Besides the fact that I am one of four girls. My sisters are my very best friends! Well, enough of my comments. Be happy with those grandbabies, Grannyof9!

Simpleuser2000 · February 8th, 2009

I have 5 kids. I was surprised with my last pregnancy and had twins. I love them all and could never imagine never having them in my life. I am looking forward to grand kids when my kids decide to have some. No pressure from me but I am hoping someday there will be little ones to love. Also to talk about them.............

Now I live through my sisters and brothers. They all have grandkids.

**flbaker** · February 8th, 2009

Originally Posted by Simpleuser2000

I have 5 kids. I was surprised with my last pregnancy and had twins. I love them all and could never imagine never having them in my life. I am looking forward to grand kids when my kids decide to have some. No pressure from me but I am hoping someday there will be little ones to love. Also to talk about them.............

Now I live through my sisters and brothers. They all have grandkids.

They say twins are every other generation ,guess my family turned out to be weird,every generation before my father - Then he was a twin, my mother lost twins and I was also to have twins but for what ever reason I lost one of the two girls within the first trimester and was so blessed to carry one to term. I call both of my girls miracles for I wasn't suppose to have children then become pregnant with two, loose one ... then shortly after ,shock my doctors yet again with another girl ... even though I'm from a large family, I am the only girl, of 3 , who was able to have children and here come my 3 brothers so fertile they could populate the world ... but they chose to stop 2-3-3
No matter how one looks at what goes on around us, got to admit life sure is full of surprises

**Rebekah1234** · February 8th, 2009

I also recieved a red mark with the same saying, from someone who is even in my friends list.
I think yes she was getting quantity of red marks.

**grannyof9** · February 8th, 2009

It is so nice to hear people speaking up for large families! Most likely, more grandchildren will be coming, and I am looking forward to them.

Congratulations to all the wonderful grandmas out there! Give those babies an extra hug when you get the chance.

Re twins - they don't skip generations in our family! I also was pregnant with twins and lost one. Now that ultrasounds are so common, when someone gets pregnant we don't ask when they are due, but how many are there!

Between the PM's and this thread, it is obvious now that the quality vs. quantity comment was not related to the number of grandchildren. Apparently she was having a bad day or something. How about everyone be extra nice. Now that we who received them know who sent it, just give her some positive points. She may be feeling pretty low and could use a lift.

**Rebekah1234** · February 8th, 2009

My one Aunt had 6 kids and my other had 5 kids. My Uncles sister had 13 kids, so big families are around.
we have a small family,

**KarenJay** · February 8th, 2009

I hadn't even realised about a connection between quality/quantity and having 9 grandchildren.

dolphinlvr · February 8th, 2009

Children ARE a blessing! I have never been able to concieve(55 yo) however, we were able to adopt a son who was 13 months old at the time, he is now 38 yo and has blessed me with 2 grandchildren! And being an only child I cannot tell you how many times I dreamed of having lots of brothers and sisters! Paying any attention to such nonsense as this person comes up with is a waste of our time. Joyce L.

**Rebekah1234** · February 8th, 2009

No I am sure it was to the type of post. there are some who feel that we should post one or two long posts and not so many short posts. And I am sure that she is refering to this, not the number of grandchildred, because I recieved the same red mark on the thread - did I deserve this red mark.
so I have 2, I did not even know about this until they opened the list to see who had given rep points.